


Hartwin Drabbles

by Blackbeyond



Series: Tumblr Prompts and Fics [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Angst, Artist Harry, Business AU, Camboy Eggsy, Crack, Fluff, Hannibal AU, Harry Hart is Alive, John Wick AU, M/M, Porn Star AU, The Internship! AU, X-Men AU - Freeform, alternative universe, time traveler's wife au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbeyond/pseuds/Blackbeyond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry makes his way back to Kingsman, he expects remaining agents (especially Eggsy and Merlin) to be shocked that he’s alive. To be honest, he was expecting screams or hysterical disbelief.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i walked through hell to get back to you

When Harry makes his way back to Kingsman, he expects remaining agents (especially Eggsy and Merlin) to be shocked that he’s alive. To be honest, he was expecting screams or hysterical disbelief. 

He wasn’t expecting to be ignored.

Eggsy figures he’s hallucinating. Cuz Harry’s dead and standing in the shop. Doesn’t say nuthin’ but “Eggsy, I’m so proud.” So it’s gotta be a hallucination right? Cuz last time he saw ‘arry, he was pissed. No, it’s not Harry. So Eggsy says nothing and keeps walking.

When Merlin first sees Harry, he figures it’s a manifestation of his guilt for sending Harry out to Kentucky. So Merlin makes a habit of taking his glasses off when he doesn’t need them. Harry becomes a blur in his vision and Merlin continues on.

It isn’t until Harry walks up and touches them that they finally realize he’s alive. Harry brings Eggsy into his arms as the boy blinks in shock before breaking down, sobbing apologies and gripping his mentor tightly.

Harry brings his hands to rest on Merlin’s shoulders, and Merlin freezes in the midst of working on an agent’s transmitter. He closes his eyes and laughs once, whispering “thank god” as his old friend chuckles.

Later on, once Harry has established that “yes, I am alive boys”, Merlin and Eggsy begin to pester him on how he survived. 

“The bullet went through the glasses, it would have killed you.”  
“You did reinforce the lens Merlin.”  
“Mate, I watched you die, your fuckin’ head basically exploded.”  
“Now you’re just being dramatic Eggsy.” 

But he takes it in stride, basking in his friends’ relief that he’s still in one piece.


	2. Mile High Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Harry is a businessman and Eggsy is his flight attendant many times over the past few years because Harry always uses the same airline in the hopes he can see Eggsy.

AU where Harry is a businessman and Eggsy is his flight attendant many times over the past few years because Harry always uses the same airline in the hopes he can see Eggsy.

Because Eggsy is fascinating to Harry. This sharp (and handsome) young man who shuts down rude customers with his wit, and handles young children and their mothers with such grace (Harry knows it because of his single mother and sister at home) and Harry is in love with this young man.

And Eggsy is fascinated by Harry. This older, distinguished businessman who always seems to be on his flights and he can’t help but flirt with. He knows that Harry is a consultant for a firm called Kingsman, that his best friend’s name is Merlin, and that he has a dog named Mr. Pickles (which is so endearing that this older gentleman has a dog named Mr. Pickles.) 

Harry shares tales of annoying, but funny, customers, and Eggsy shares stories of the weirdest flight guests he’s had to deal with. They’re always flirting, learning new information about one another until the day Harry says “fuck it” and drags Eggsy into one of the bathrooms in the back.

Harry returns to his seat later, smug and satisfied.

Eggsy walks slowly to the back room where Roxy laughs at his disheveled state.


	3. The Internship AU No One Asked For But I Typed Out Anyway

Harry and Merlin, in a world where tailors are needed less and less, are laid off when their shop goes out of business. All hope seems lost until Harry stumbles across an advert on the search engine, Kingsman, calling for intern applications.

Lo and behold, Merlin and Harry get the internship! Merlin had a genius IQ after all, and Harry was just as smart and dapper as he appeared.

When they arrive at Kingsman HQ, they find themselves amongst a crowd of college students, and realize that perhaps they might be a bit old for this internship pool. They’re paired up with a spunky young woman named Roxy, a sarcastic and unpleasant boy named Charlie, and a pleasant girl named Amelia. 

Another group across the way is led by a childish young man named Valentine, with his cronies: Gazelle, Arnold, Dean, and Arthur.

Harry has to learn and adapt to the trade of networking and programming, using his gentlemanly wiles to gain an upper hand in the internship competition. Along the way he meets a member of the senior staff, the most beautiful young man he’s ever laid eyes on, Eggsy Unwin.

Can Harry win Eggsy’s heart and the internship? Will Merlin survive this summer dealing with Harry’s pining? How long until Roxy and Amelia team up to kill Charlie? Find out next on The Internship: Kingsman!


	4. The Internship AU: Bad Date

It had taken a few weeks to break down Eggsy’s defenses, but the young man had finally agreed to a date with Harry.

_“Please, Eggsy, you say you’ve never been on a proper date. Allow me to take you on one. Just one.”_

_“Alright mate, you get one try. An’ it better be like every bad date I’ve never been on all wrapped into one aight?”_

Harry was a little disappointed that he had to pretend to be a bad date, but a gentleman should be able to be charming under any circumstance. He was pleased that he had been right.

He’d taken Eggsy to a small Italian restaurant called Galahad, one that he himself frequented often. The service was wonderful and the food perfect, atmosphere and noise level allowing Harry to move closer to Eggsy at every opportune moment.

“You’re mad! People don’t flirt with the staff in front of their dates! You’ve gotta be pullin’ my leg,” Eggsy hissed after Harry described horrible dating practices he could expect from a bad date. Harry raised an eyebrow and flagged down a waitress for their check.

“Yes, I was wondering if I could get the check love?” Harry murmured to the waitress who had scurried over. He kept his voice low and moved his head closer to the waitress, “I was also wondering if I could get your number?”

The waitress flushed and let out a high pitched giggle before flouncing off to the kitchens. Eggsy stared, unimpressed, before he turned his attention back to his dessert. Harry quickly grabbed the fork from the young man and took a piece of his dessert.

“You shouldn’t finish this dessert darling, you should really watch your figure.”

Eggsy shrieked in mock offense, taking his fork back with a huff. “How dare you!” he cried out playfully, right as the waitress came back with their check.

“You gentleman have a good evening,” she tittered, eyes focused on Harry before she walked away, hips swaying purposefully. Harry smirked as he saw her number written on the bottom of the check, accented with a heart and a ‘call me.’

He pushed the number in the direction of Eggsy who snorted in amusement. “I can’t believe she actually did it,” he remarked before adopting a look of confusion as Harry continued to push the check his way. “What- I ain’t payin’ for this! You asked me out!”

“And you should be honored,” Harry said with a shit-eating grin, waiting a full ten seconds before Eggsy shoved the offending paper into his face.

Once dinner had been paid for, the two began to walk back to Eggsy’s apartment, located just a few blocks away.

“Well, you mashed all my potential bad dates all in ta one night. You did not lie t’me about that,” the young man murmured.

“I do what I promise. I have not let down anyone yet.”

“You definitely did not let me down. It was fun. I ‘ad fun.” 

The two continued in silence before coming upon the front of Eggsy’s apartment building. He gazed up at Harry, smirk on his face.

“You wanna have more fun?”

Harry blinked in shock as the young man winked and hurried up the building’s stairs, looking back at Harry ever once in awhile.

“Well, old man? What are ya waitin’ for?”


	5. Studying Romances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> iamcumbercollected sent: PROMPT: eacher/student relationship. Harry is a fancy and posh English teacher who sees some potential in Eggsy. He offers him help to get him to uni and get a scholarship. Their relationship sort of happens. Fluffy & romantic!

The day Eggsy graduates is the first time Eggsy sees Harry cry.

The ceremony is brief, the commencement address rather boring, but the excitement of being able to walk across the stage, to grab his diploma, to finally have proof that he’s achieved what he was always taught was impossible. That was enough to have Eggsy beaming on his graduation day from Uni.

He owed it all to Harry of course. To his wildly intelligent and handsome teacher who had witnessed him disable the security to his townhome, and rather than call the coppers on him, had questioned him on his methods and offered to teach him how to use his intelligence to do something better with his life.

And hadn’t that saved Eggsy from a life under Dean’s thumbs, burglarizing families and helping smuggle drugs around London. Dean had been the one with the money growing up, his mum beat when she tried to go out and work, or when she tried to leave the house at all for that matter. Eggsy had quick been taken out of anything he’d been good at. Gymnastics, school… even the bloody Marines. He’d been told he’d never amount to anything, that he shouldn’t even think of going on to higher education when he was nothing but a waste of space. And he’d believed them. Believed himself so worthless that the first opportunity that came to him, he took without a second thought. Because for someone as worthless as him, when would a chance like this ever come up again?

But he took Harry’s offer and he flourished. He snuck out of the house, sometimes taking his lil sister Daisy with him to Harry’s home, and he was presented with books and books of every subject he had ever imagined. Harry taught him how to play the piano, to defend himself, how to write essays, how to put his thoughts onto paper coherently, and after a year under his tutelage, Eggsy learned how to love.

Not that Harry knew that. No, Eggsy never told Harry. Not even when Harry had presented him with a scholarship to get him four years of uni for free. Not even when Eggsy had finished his first year at uni and the two had gone out to dinner in celebration. Not when he found out he had gotten perfect scores on his finishing exams.

But maybe after the ceremony, he could finally tell Harry.

Harry, who was crying as Eggsy ran to him after the ceremony.

Harry who clutched the boy tight and whispered how proud he was of him. How Eggsy had surpassed every limitation and expectation set upon him. How he would miss seeing Eggsy in his home almost every day, like he had seen him these past five years.

“Yeah, about that,” Eggsy cut him off, grasping Harry’s face between his hands, “I don’t plan on leaving.”

“You…don’t?” Harry asked, blinking down at the boy, eyes still watery.

“Not if you’ll have me,” Eggsy murmured, drawing in Harry’s face to place his lips gently on the older man’s.

They remained like that for several moments before the need for oxygen pushed them apart. Eggsy looked frightened for a moment, before he relaxed at the joyous smile adorning Harry’s face.

“Of course I’ll have you,” Harry laughed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and the drew forwards towards one another once more.


	6. Kings-Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That’s right, a mother ducking X-Men AU, because I AM ON A MARVEL BINGE AND CANNOT BE STOPPED

I’m talking friends to enemies to lovers Professor!Harry and Magneto!Eggsy (only Harry is Galahad and Eggsy is just Eggsy because “I’m not gonna hide who I am as a mutant, why would I hide who I am as a person?”)

Eggsy, a metal-bending young man traveling to avenge the death of his mother and little sister at the hands of his step-father, and anti-mutant activist Dean.

Harry, an older gentleman who sits on the fortune accumulated by his forefathers and the next telepathic mutant in a line of psychics.

They meet when Eggsy finally finds Dean, but is unprepared to fight his guards whose mutations allow them power over wind and water. He ends up washed up on shore, right as Harry is walking towards a local college to give a lecture on genetics.

And Harry forms a little team called the Kings-Men as the gene that makes them all mutants was discovered by a man named Chester King. Eggsy was on board at first, until Harry tries to persuade him to live in hiding.

“I’m a mutant Harry, I’m not gonna reject that part of me to stay in your fancy house when our people are being murdered daily!”

Eggsy leaves. Harry pines.

Eventually they meet again, while Eggsy has Dean right on the brink of death. Except we diverge from canon and Harry convinces Eggsy to stop. Daisy is alive, and Harry can’t access Dean’s memories when he’s dying.

And so Dean is thrown in a mutant jail somewhere (his ability was to be a giant dick) and Eggsy joins up with Harry and the Kings-Men again to find his sister!

And they don’t just eye bang this time, they bang so hard that the metal foundations of the Kings-men mansion move.

Featuring Roxy as Lancelot (ability: vocal manipulation aka verbal mind control), Merlin as The Magician (ability: can change the odds of any situation within undefined “reason”), and Amelia as Decoy (ability: can create copies of herself.)


	7. The Only Merhartwin Thing I've Ever Written

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soulessboyking: Okay, but have you considered Merhartwin where Merlin and Eggsy get together after Harry’s “death,” and when Harry comes back he’s a horribly jealous little shit? Like Merlin was his friend first, and Eggsy is his protege, what the fuck are they doing? And Merlin and Eggsy are dropping so many hints to Harry but he just can’t see them because he’s being so jealous and petty. Finally they have to resort to some extreme measures to seduce Harry (more like Eggsy finally freaks out and screams, “HARRY DO YOU WANT TO FUCK US OR NOT” and Merlin chastises him before being like …. “Well, do you or not we are very confused.”)

Kingsman is a mess by the time Merlin and Eggsy make it back from Valentine’s bunker. Half of the agents are dead having aligned with Arthur, and another chunk took out each other when the Doomsday signal went out. There are a few tech members, Roxy, Percival, Merlin, and Eggsy left.

Roxy and Percival are sent off on foreign missions, with Morgana as their handler. Merlin, while managing recruitment, is Eggsy’s handler as Eggsy has taken all domestic matters into hand in order to remain close to his mother and sister.

Merlin and Eggsy get to really bond this way, Merlin watching out for Eggsy and Eggsy keeping a constant line of communication to fill the silence when needed. They bond over their grief, as Merlin has lost his best friend and Eggsy has lost his mentor.

Neither of them mention that Harry was also someone they loved dearly, it went unspoken.

When Eggsy isn’t on missions, he brings food, souvenirs, and other trinkets to his handler’s desk. Bringing food turned into going out to eat, and slowly transitioned to small dates here and there. They expressed their affection in witty comebacks and snarky exchanges, but nothing is done about their physical attraction until Eggsy is almost killed on a simple extraction mission.

As soon as Eggsy gets out of the medical bay, Merlin kisses with a ferocity Eggsy had never known before.

“I couldn’t bear to lose you too.”

They’re recovering, the pain of losing Harry more bearable now that they have found solace in each other.

And then Harry comes back. Merlin and Eggsy are ecstatic that he’s back. Eggsy cries with happiness and Merlin drops his clipboard to pull Harry into a tight embrace. 

But Harry is not happy. Oh, he gives them genuine smiles and loves that he is back in the company of the two people he loves most. But Merlin was his BEST FRIEND, and Eggsy was HIS MENTEE. They were HIS and now they had each other and Harry fumes about it private, never letting them see how upset he is that he’s lost them to each other.

But Eggsy and Merlin think the opposite. Harry’s back! They can all be together. And so Eggsy starts the wooing process with Harry, dropping off the food and trinkets for him after missions and winking saucily to make him flustered. Merlin chooses the more physical route, leaving lingering (but not too obvious) touches on Harry, touching him as often as possible.

Harry doesn’t get that he can have them both. That polyamorous relationships are something that exist in the world, and so he continues to stew in his frustrations and jealousy.

Eggsy and Merlin can SEE that Harry wants them and eventually Eggsy gives up and just sits on Harry, grabbing his tie and pulling him close to say “do you want to fuck me and Merlin or not? Cuz I’m not gonna wait any longer for you to make a move!”

Harry is stunned for a moment, as he hadn’t even considered this option while Merlin speaks up.

“Do get your head out of your ass and do something.”

AND THEN THEY BANG OUT ALL THE UST

But unfortunately they do it in the middle of headquarters, and so Roxy walks in on them when there are (ironically) heads in asses.

“Oh for fucks sake.”


	8. John Wick AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous sent: So... I heard you liked... AU's... Idk if you've seen John Wick, but can we please just take a moment to think about a John Wick AU? I just rewatched the movie and how badass would it be w/ Harry as John? I'm not like 100% on who would be who, (Merlin would be Marcus for sure tho) but I was wondering if you wanted to hear my thoughts!

So we’re talking Hitman!Harry who leaves his life of killing behind after meeting Eggsy. He and Eggsy live a very happy and quiet life together until Eggsy falls ill and succumbs to cancer.

We’re talking JB as the dog who was sent to Harry after Eggsy’s passing. JB who is killed by Charlie Hesketh, the godson of Harry’s old boss, Chester King.

We’re talking Harry tracking down Charlie and Chester so he can put a bullet through their heads.

\---------

_Anonymous sent: Oh my god, yes. There's a video on his phone of them at the beach and he's telling her how beautiful she is, and he watches it several times throughout the movie. So, pls sit and think about Harry having a video of the camera angled at Eggsy, and he watches it when he misses his husband or he's in a rough place. I.E, he just had an intense battle and he's probably bleeding somewhere, and he takes out his phone to see his dear again- even if it's just in video form._   


“I’m almost there, Eggsy,” Harry whispered, fingers running down his phone screen, Eggsy’s smiles filling the space.

“I think you would have like JB, he was a pug, and he helped me when you first passed. A little guard dog just for me.”

“I miss you everyday. There is no moment that goes by where I don’t think of you darling.”

“When this is all over, I may join you Eggsy. I don’t know what will happen when I get to Chester, but I know if he’s dead it won’t matter if I live or die.”

“I know you’d want me to live, but you always underestimated how much I needed you.”

He goes to sleep that night with one hand clutching a gun, and the other pressing play on his phone, Eggsy’s laugh echoing over and over again in his ear.

\----------

_ Anonymous sent: I'm gonna die, oh my god. Imagine- after killing Charlie- he goes after Chester. And Harry won, and after he stabs Chester they're sitting across from each other in a hall with Chester bleeding out slowly with a knife right in his neck. All he can do as a fighting shot is make a jab about Eggsy, something that would be sure to get Harry's blood boiling- make Chester feel like he won, even though he's the one seconds away from death. Harry would drive the knife in harder. _   


Harry collapses on the ground, exhausted and panting so hard he thinks he’s about to pass out. But Charlie and Chester have been defeated, he thinks with relief, the later lying on the ground with a steady trickle of blood pooling around his head.

He’d been damn lucky to get him in the neck.

“You…/fucker/,” Chester wheezed, skin color fading away as the blood slowed. He was almost dead, so close.

“What’s the point now Galahad?” The use of Harry’s old code name had him cringing. “Killing me won’t bring back the bitch you left for. And let’s face it, he didn’t want you enough to fight his cancer to stay with you. You left for a worthless piece of shit, and look where you are now-”

Harry let out an anguished roar and drove the knife through Chester’s neck, satisfied when the sound of his voice died down.

“Fuck you,” Harry spat, rising to his feet.

Chester didn’t answer of course, he was dead. Kingsman was dead. Harry chocked out a sob, relief flooding through his body and he stumbled out of the headquarters laughing hysterically.

“It’s over…it’s over Eggsy!” he shouted to the sky, tears spilling down his cheeks. “It’s over.”

He made his way to the nearest town in Chester’s car. He’d made sure to change before he’d left as well, it wouldn’t bode well to stroll into town covered in blood.

He pulled up at a pet store at the edge of the town and made his way inside.

“Mr. Pickles huh?” he chuckled, reading off one of the dogs’ names from the front of a cage.

“Are you interested in adopting sir?” the shop assistant asked, the young woman looking at him curiously.

“Yes ma'am.”

“Alright, I’ll be able to help you whenever you’re ready Mister…?”

“Harry, miss, Harry Unwin.”


	9. Time Traveler AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hartwinner posted: I don’t know if anyone ever mentioned it but imagine a The Time Traveler’s Wife AU! (Writing time travel plots hurts my brain though ugh, but still, the feels would be great if this was a thing.)
> 
> So I delivered.

Harry would be the Wife. Imagine him meeting Eggsy when he was just a tyke, this handsome young man with bright eyes who visits him from time to time. It’s weird though, because sometimes Eggsy looks really old, and sometimes he looks the same as the day Harry met him.

And sometimes Eggsy doesn’t know him. Those days make Harry the saddest as he has to explain who he is again.

One day Eggsy gives him a list of dates, and Harry dutifully brings the man clothes and food like clockwork.

This goes on for years, and Harry realizes that these are all the same Eggsys…just in different places in time.

“Eggsy, you made me the man I am today,” he admits when he’s turned thirty. This time Eggsy has met him twice before, eyes still bright with youth.

“Eggsy, I love you,” he confesses years before to the Eggsy whose known him many times. This Eggsy has crinkles around his eyes, marking the years he’s been alive. This Eggsy has kissed him many times before in his timeline, but tonight is the first time for Harry.

Eggsy shows up dying one day, before blinking out into another space in time a second later.

A 50-year-old Eggsy dies in his arms when Harry is 45.

When Harry nears his deathbed at 81, a 49-year-old Eggsy appears by his side.


	10. Porn Star AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Successful Porn Star Harry Hart pining over his cameraman, Eggsy Unwin.

Can I get a Porn Star AU with Harry Hart being Kingsman’s most successful porn star of all times?

We’re talking massive fan base from men and women old and young, because everyone agrees that he is Daddy AF. He’s extremely versatile, working with both men and women in almost any genre you can think of sans humiliation and blood play.

His most popular video is one where he’s fucking an anonymous young man whose face you never see, but the passion and sweetness of it all surprised and delighted Harry’s fans. (Most fans agree that the bottom moaning “Daddy” and Harry’s reactions made everything even hotter.) As far as anyone knows, Harry has never worked with that young man again after the one video three years ago.

Enter Eggsy Unwin, that anonymous young man. He began at Kingsman as Mr. Hart’s fluffer, slowly working his way up the ladder in the industry. Now he works behind the camera, filming and producing Kingsman’s most popular videos.

He’s also madly in love with Harry, which resulted in the one video three years ago. Unfortunately, since then, Harry tends to avoid Eggsy at all costs, and ignores the young man’s presence when Eggsy is filming him.

Little does Eggsy know that Harry feels guilty over the video, having wanted to woo and enter a relationship with Eggsy. The video was never supposed to be uploaded and distributed, and Harry thinks that Eggsy is upset with him after Eggsy had freaked out when it was first released.

(But Eggsy had gotten over it shortly after when Roxy pointed out that his face was never shown. Harry had begun avoiding him at this point though.)

PINING PORN STAR HARRY AND HIS ALSO PINING CAMERA MAN EGGSY BASICALLY.


	11. A Passion for Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Eggsy is Hannibal Lecter and Harry is Will Graham aka Hannibal!AU.

Harry Hart is an analyst for Kingsman, a handsome gentleman with a habit of collecting dogs. His main dog is named Mr. Pickle, a small dog who commands the other strays he pulls in from time to time.

Harry isn’t always completely there, that is to say that he loses time. Sometimes he has trouble sleeping at night, and headaches come to him frequently. His boss, Chester King, still sends him out to the field though, as no one can get into the minds of criminals as well as Harry. Especially when the Chesapeake Ripper, the latest serial killer, is active again.

But Harry feels himself slowly approaching a mental break. Roxy Morton is his co-worker, a young woman working as consultant profiler for Kingsman as well as a psychiatry professor.

“You need to see someone about this,” she says to him one day. Harry had spaced out in the middle of his lecture, and she had walked in on him scrambling to put his thoughts together. “I have a friend, he’s my age, but you should know not to underestimate us.”

Dr. Gary Unwin.

The first time Harry walks into Dr. Unwin’s office, he freezes at the sight of the young man, tall and handsome, and clad into a tight fitted suit.

“You must be ‘arry,” Dr. Unwin says with a genuine smile, “Roxy told me to expect you today.”

Dr. Unwin (Call me Eggsy) was an enigma. He had a myriad of talents, psychiatry one of them, but everyone at Kingsman knew him to be a talented chef.

“This is wonderful,” Harry compliments him during dinner at Eggsy’s home once. They’d finished a session and Eggsy had suggested dinner. Harry was so fascinated by Eggsy that he hadn’t thought to say anything but yes.

“What kind of meat is this?” he questions on another night.

“A very loud pig,” Eggsy remarks with a wink, and Harry blushes into his food.

Charlie Hesketh is found dead the following day.

“He was a rather loud voice in the psychiatry field,” Roxy says when Harry arrives at the crime scene. “Charlie liked to compete against Eggsy.”

“What is there to compete with Eggsy about?” Harry questions, horrified that he admires the way Charlie has been strung out on wires, jaw broken due to the amount of flowers that had been stuffed into his mouth. It feels like a gift to him for some reason, the flowers asking him on a date. A rather murderous one. Just like the last few bodies that have come up.

“He gets to help you. There are many in our field who would jump at the chance. Not everyone has an affinity to get into others’ minds like you do.”

Harry was quiet, contemplating for a moment about if Eggsy considered him a prize. He shook his head and smiled, no. Eggsy was too kind for that.

“Is this the Chesapeake Ripper?” Chester asks when Harry gets back to Kingsman headquarters. Harry confirmed it to be so and Chester growled before throwing Harry out of his office.

“A cannibal,” is what greets him in the mortuary. Merlin stares at the body of Charlie, now cleaned of all aesthetics.

“A cannibal?” Harry echoes. Merlin shows him where a few organs have been removed surgically, as well as a chunk of Charlie’s thigh.

“He’s removing pieces of his victims to eat. I hadn’t realized the pattern until now. But every victim that you’ve identified as the Chesapeake Ripper’s work has had some organ or meat removed from their bodies.”

“He’s eating them. He’s slaughtering them like pigs.”

Harry froze.

_“A very loud pig.”_

No, it wasn’t Eggsy. Ignore the fact that the meat hadn’t tasted like pork, Harry had been with Eggsy the night before they found Charlie.

Harry went home and sat with Mr. Pickle, petting his soft fur as he thought back on his sessions with Eggsy.

_“We’ve talked a lot about me, can I ask a few questions about you Eggsy?”_

_“Of course Harry. Though I don’t imagine there’s much you’d want to know about me.”_

_“Do you have any family?”_

_“I had a sister. Unfortunately I lost her at a young age.”_

_“Did you do anything before psychiatry?”_

_“I was a med student before I realized it wasn’t for me.”_

_“How did you learn to cook? And where do you get such quality meat?”_

_“I learned a few things through my foster homes. Plus I have a very reliable butcher.”_

 

“How do you choose them?” Harry asks in the middle of their session the next day.

“They’re rude,” Eggsy says off-handedly, showing no surprise at the question.

“Will you eat me too?” Harry thinks he already knows the answer, but Eggsy just smiles at him, walking up to the older man and lays a kiss to his cheek.

“One day.”


	12. Camboy Eggsy and Artist Harry

Camboy!AU where Eggsy does a show four times a week, never showing his face, but always putting on the best show he can for his paying audience.

Harry as the artist who’s best friend sets up an account for him on Eggsy’s website so Harry can “let loose” and “get the stick out yer arse so you can some work done Hart.”

Harry falling into lust with Eggsy’s hot bod. The movement of his lean muscles, the moles on his bum, the thickness of his cock as he slowly jerks himself for the camera.

And maybe Harry falls in love with this mysterious boy? man? too. Their laughter, their wit, their accent that grows thicker as they grow closer to orgasm, breath hitching before long, drawn out moans (partially for the audience and partially because they know how to work their body.)

And so it’s not really Harry’s fault when his newest exhibit ends up being paintings and sculptures and charcoal sketches of this young man’s body that’s been burned into his mind.

And Harry’s just paying for those private sessions with this “Gary” for references. It’s like those naked models in art class, it’s purely for research purposes.

And Eggsy who is curious about this one subscriber, the one person who never misses a private session, and whose payments never decline even when the sessions run well into the hundreds.

Eggsy who blushes at their compliments and how they can keep up with his banter. This one subscriber that he doesn’t have a name or face for other than “Galahad.” The most he has is the image of a chest, barely covered by a shirt that isn’t buttoned at the top, when his subscriber didn’t turn off his webcam.

Eggsy who is dragged to an art show by his best friend, Roxy, expecting it to be anther stuffy painter who flaunts their money in obnoxious exhibits.

Instead he sees himself, or rather his body.

And he catches a glimpse of that chest, still not yet covered, top two buttons of a shirt ignored as the artist chats with Roxy, and he /knows./

Harry hears a gasp and turns to see the most beautiful young man, right before a server bumps into them, and he watches as champagne soaks through the young man’s white shirt.

Harry would know that body anywhere.

(And then they totally do it in the bathroom while Roxy and Merlin are gossiping about their respective pining asshole best friends.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want to come and talk to me about Hartwin (or anything else really) my Kingsman tumblr is [here!](http://www.takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin.tumblr.com)


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